With most couples I start with what brings them in to therapy and also make sure they have clear agreements around issues like non-violence and fidelity. Communication is usually a focus and this entails refining both how you speak and how you listen. I often also help them develop a functional strategy for conflict resolution and make sure that is working in the 5 primary areas where couples have conflict: division of labor, parenting, sex, finances and self care. Helping couples create even more mutually delightful experiences regularly is also often useful and for many couples this includes discussing their sexual and romantic lives.
In cases of infidelity, there are 3 stages – first is the emotional crisis upon disclosure. Stage 2 is trying to sort out why this happened and stage 3 is sorting out where to go from here. Navigating the intense emotions in the crisis stage in a way that does not further damage the relationship can be quite challenging. This is true in my office and usually even more true when you are home. At times it can be best to ask one person to leave the room, or to see you individually to help you process your feelings without having to be concerned about your partner.
When addictions are a factor, resolving conflict in couples is quite challenging. In this case, arguments have usually been worst when either party has been impaired and this may have led to harsh words being exchanged or worse. Improving the situation requires both resolving your differences in a less painful way and ensuring that meaningful conversation only occurs when sober. Often this is impossible without resolving the addiction. Starkly, this can be a choice between having a relationship with the other person or having a relationship with your addiction – one or the other.
I’ve been in this business for 30+ years and train therapists and life coaches. My clients value my experience, my integration of somatics, mindfulness, and self-compassion with talk therapy, and my focus on helping them develop self-management skills for rapid growth and long-term stability.
I see clients online or in person in rural Talent. If the weather is good, we meet outdoors. Most insurance treats me as out of network and the copay and deductible are higher as a consequence. Payment is due at time of service. I prep statements you can submit to your insurance company for direct reimbursement following your policy.